How To Deal With A Break Up
Most people have been dumped during their life and some people cope better than others. People who initiates the break up tend to handle it better because it was their decision to end it, but when people get dumped by their partner they get heartbroken and it's usually a painful and emotional process.
During my life, I've been dumped twice by two different Lao girls so I definately know what it feels like. My first girlfriend is from Vientiane and the second girl is from Paksan, a small town about 2 hours drive from Vientiane.
On the first occasion it really hurt like hell, almost like someone died and left me forever. I didn't cry but I felt really sad for weeks and anything I ate didn't taste good like it used to, I would just stay in my room for days and thinking that she lied to me, life just isn't fair and I thought that I will never find another girlfriend ever again. I prayed
to Buddha and my loved ones who have passed away and I asked them for help and to understand why this happened to me. It took many months for my broken heart to fully heal and the old proverb is right, time heals all wounds.
The second time I got dumped, I felt sad again and that's normal because I'm in love but this time I coped better with the break up because I experienced it before and I always prepared myself for the worst. I learned to go into the second relationship with an open mind and not a fixed mind and that helped ease the pain alittle. I don't keep in touch with my ex-girlfriends but the memories will stay with me forever and I know that I will find a wife one day because I believe in destiny.
When you lose someone you love, whether it's your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband, the only way that will help you get over the pain is to accept that it's over and your ex-partner isn't coming back. Just think of it as a bad dream and that person is just not your destiny. Everything happens for a purpose and no matter how you much you're committed in the relationship, eventually there will come a time when the both of you will walk out from each others lives if you're not meant to be for each other.
If you are an emotional person and you want to cry then allow yourself to do so. It doesn't matter if you are a guy, if you cry and let it all out, you'll feel much better afterwards. The important thing is to recognise that the relationship is over and try to learn from what you've been through so that you can make the next one work better for you. In the meantime you can enjoy your freedom, spend time with friends, get involved in your favourite hobby, look after yourself properly and know that one day you will find your perfect match and live happily ever after.
If your sadness turns into anger, go for a jog or scream if you have to. Do whatever you need to do to get it out and not let it stay inside. Never think that a failed relationship was a waste of your time and life, use the experience as a learning curve. We all have to go through the hard times in life and relationships are no different.
Try not to start a new relationship right away after you have just broken up. These often fail to work out as well and you may get more pain. Take a deep breath....breath in, breath out and give yourself some time to calm down so that you can think rationally again.
It is possible to remain friends with your ex-partner but only the two of you will be able to work that out. If you can't avoid each other because you still see your ex-partner every day at work or school then you stand a chance of becoming or remaining friends.
Give each other some breathing room for a few days or weeks after the break up so that the transition from being lovers to being friends will be easier for the both of you.
If you have children together and you were married together for years, it is possible to work things out and get back together again
and that would be a positive outcome. But if you were just dating and you broke up, try not to persuade your ex-partner to reconsider getting back with you again because of your history together. You have to remember that the same person dumped you and you stand a fairly decent chance of getting dumped and heartbroken again so getting back together is not a wise idea.
Trust me, pain from a break up is only temporary and there are more beautiful girls and handsome guys out there waiting for you. You can learn from any mistakes that you made and resolve not to repeat them in future relationships. Good luck with it.